Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Natural Golf


The very word Natural has a nice cozy ring to it, doesn't it? Natural, the way Mom cooks or cooked. Natural, anything that man has not screwed up. Natural tomatoes, carrots, beans and rice. Natural, no bad "stuff" in it.

Natural is a tidy word. Natural, the only thing to buy or thing to do. Who in their right mind would ever consider buying anything UN natural or doing anything UN natural? Stick the word natural in front of anything you want to sell and you have an automatic winner!

If someone with the last name Natural is trying to entice you to buy something, he's off and running. Joe Natural, what a lucky name. Joe Natural's coffee beans is what you want to buy. Suppose Gus's last name is Unnatural. Would you buy Joe Natural's coffee or Gus Unnatural's coffee? Pick a can.

What if some marketing genius decides to apply the magic word Natural to his golf gimmick? Since golfers are a gullible lot, he would catch tons of customers that would jump at the bait like a barrel full of fish, based solely on the name alone. Once we step beyond the word and check it out to see if it's really as the name implies, Natural, we are in for some shocking surprises. For those who didn't check it out and fell for it, based on just the word alone, whoops, shame on them.

In today's world of rampant Internet scams, it behooves one to be a skeptic and be driven to do one's homework before one makes a fool of ones self, AGAIN.

Let's say that some carny folk, who sleeps in his car, comes up with a plan to fleece the golfing public. Let's say that this guy practices his method at every waking moment and develops a certain skill with his method based solely on an unnatural amount of practice. With no job and nothing to do, he can spend lots of time slamming golf balls. A baboon could do as well with that much practice. Let's say that his method has appeal because it is different. Please, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, disregard the fact that it is contrary to how all great swings function. Get this . . . if his marketing is good enough he will be able to overcome common sense, logic and rational decision making in the view of the potential customer aka, pre-fool/fool.

Cleverly placing the magic adjective natural in front of golf guarantees him ample money to write non-rubberized checks, drink wine with a cork instead of a screw cap, sleep inside a dwelling instead of his car and employ a multitude of circus performers to spread his gospel.

Now then, what if his method doesn't work? The fact that it doesn't work is a moot point because he already has the golfers money. In exchange the golfer has a goofy ineffective swing loaded with bad habits. He has no grounds to sue the con man. The con man skips down the primrose lane, whistling a happy tune, all the way to the bank. There is no neutral (not natural) effect here.

If you buy a suit and it doesn't fit you are only out your money. But, if you buy a suit and you have to wear it there is a negative not neutral effect. You are out the money and people laugh hysterically when they see you wearing your "mistake." When you add something to your golf game, make sure it fits 'cause you're gonna wear it!

In our fictional adaptation of the chance of some outrageous possibility, possibly being true, could it be possibility possible for a golfer with his tail tucked between his hind legs to admit that he didn't do his homework? . . . that he fell for it, & carelessly squandered enough money for a trip around the world, TWICE! Does the red faced golfer pray that no one notices the errors of his ways? Perhaps it was only a horrifying dream on Elm Street, Freddy!

What if the jewels of wisdom found in the conjoined sentences above, some refer to as paragraphs, were indeed true/fact? We have sweaty palms from phone calls and countless emails from golfers expressing outrage that the Natural Golf method is anything but natural.

Natural stinks they say. I can show you how to hit a golf ball over a 100 yards__with a pop bottle, doesn't mean it's natural for golf.

From now on, when you hear the word natural, ask the question . . . "What the hell do you mean by natural?" If you don't, you could end up with a tummy ache from eating rotten apples or a golf swing that guarantees you a room with bars on the windows, rubber wallpaper & a staff fully equipped to make sure you stay in your room.

Jim McLellan

"The Maverick Anti-Pro"

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Monday, May 12, 2008

The Real Game of Golf



"There is something extremely important about what Jim McLellan strives to teach, which many students can't or don't want to see.

We live in a culture that is fixated on the foreground (golf lessons, magazines and books, freeze frame golf analysis) and yet Jim struggles to reveal the background (essence, rhythm, interaction of golf and life) . . . This background is the source of the power and drama of the game of golf. It gives life and makes golf breathe. It provokes rather than distracts, confronts rather than pacifies.

Golfers have lost the sense of common sense. This is why today's mainstream golf instruction is ineffective. Most people only teach the foreground and most people only ever "get" the foreground, because it is what is being taught today. It is easy to point to; it's tangible, but it is also superficial.

The foreground is important only to the degree that it points to the background, to make the background leap out. This is what it means for golf to "get" you--to be seized by the power of the real game of golf.

What Jim seeks to teach isn't mere metaphor; it isn't just talk. It is precisely what is deepest, most poignant, and most real about the potential and possibilities of one's personal relationship with their REAL golf game! "

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Golfers! Your participation, please!


Help!

Your comments are needed! My blogs are only one dimensional.

I get emails and phone calls telling me how much my blogs are being enjoyed, but...I need comments to the blog pages to make it multi-dimensional ...to make it sing. I don't need to be a one man band when there is a full orchestra out there with great ideas, personal stories, comments to share.


So, consider this an invitation to become involved more than simply as a reader. We have readers worldwide who would like to hear from you who are very much like you.


If you have time for only a sentence or two, at least send it. If you have the time for several paragraphs, I will post your comments, thoughts, perspectives, and viewpoints.


Something you would like for me to write about? Let me know!


Thanks,


Jim McLellan "The Maverick Anti-Pro"


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You, The Golfer



If you and I had dinner together, went fishing together, took a road trip together, spent any time having a fireside chat . . . and we never discussed golf, I would know many things about you that would help me determine exactly what kind of a golfer you were.

Jim Mclellan

The AntiPro/The Maverick
Visit or Return to McGolf Home of the Perfect Golf Swing

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Dishwasher Man



A small puddle of water in front of the dishwasher can't be of any major significance in the scope of the Big Picture. Drop a couple paper towels down, forget about it and go about the business of solving the worlds problems.

What's that you say? The dial sticks and won't move beyond the wash cycle? "How long have we had this dishwasher Honey, a year or has it been two?" 8 years?, no kidding. How much are dishwashers these days? " 5 hundred and up, can be $1,000 and more," honey says. "Not goin' for it," honey's husband replies.

A short drive to the appliance store, past the tires, thru the lawnmower department, past the treadmills and finally to dishwashers jumping up and down shouting..."buy me," "buy me!" We are approached by a smiling saleslady with makeup galore and glasses with a safety chain. Comes in handy when bending over to demonstrate how to load the bottom rack, wouldn't ya think?

We are thrifty shoppers, bargain hunters, not to be confused with cheap skates. We gravitate to the bare bones section. We totally understand that all the bells and whistles on the super models just lead to the greater possibility of leaking, smoking and malfunctioning.

We are all set to settle on a rock bottom unit, priced at what I remember dishwashers selling for, when my detective wife spots a poor lonely dishwasher in the corner. "Oh, that one," the saleslady smiles, "let me call downstairs and check on it." "They say it’s a floor model and they would like to (here's what I Luv to hear) . . ."they would like to get rid of it." We compare it's features with the bargain basement unit we R ready to trade plastic numbers for. A better unit, more features? Wonder how much more? How much? $169 bucks? Less than Old Cheapie? Done. Wrap it up. When can you deliver it? She doesn't know anything about delivery & hands us a piece of paper. Do I smell the beginnings of a problem? Here, call this number.

Oh boy, just when we thought we had found a dishwasher looker's dream, we run into a possible roadblock with the delivery guy. Well, there goes our great bargain. Dishwashers have absolutely no value unless they are delivered.

I call the 800 number, in the sky, and get some guy who had robots for parents. So condescending, I felt like I could puke. Told him we had guests coming in on Thursday and we needed it before then. "Don't know if that's possible, Tin Man mumbles." "Saleslady said you could." "We never talk to the sales people," is his unremorseful reply. Perfect. It's now Monday. Finally, I asked to speak with the delivery guy directly. I'm patched in to Eddie. Terrific, I thought, Eddie, why not Jimmy or Freddie or Frankie? Anytime anyone adds an ie or a y at the end of a perfectly good name, you've got trouble. These tags usually have been dumped in Jr. High school. Delivery man says, "can't do it Wednesday," "full up." "Thursday is too late, Eddie...we have company arriving." "I can do it tomorrow." "Did you say tomorrow as in Tuesday?" "Yes Sir, how about noon?" "Ideal, see you then."

As the town whistle blows, at exactly 12 noon, Eddie shows up in his pickup truck. A delivery guy on time? I'm dreaming! "How are you today Sir?" "Great Eddie and you?" "Just fine."

Eddie never should have been passed up as a defensive tackle for the Green Bay Packers. Eddie's back is wider than his truck. Shoulders at least a yard wide, barrel chested, and arms bigger than the village blacksmith. A broad smile and. . .get this. . .dimples.

Eddie grabs his trusty dolly (with one hand) and slips in the kitchen door. Big Eddie has the leaky dishwasher, with the stuck dial, unhooked and out the door faster than you can say "Jackie Robinson." I peek out the window & watch Mr. Universe unload our bargain. Eddie reaches in his truck and lifts our DW out with straight arms, sets it on the dolly and is back in the kitchen in a blur. Muscular Eddie, deftly reaches in his small bag of tricks (tools), hooks up the wiring and plumbing, smiles and tells us we're "Good to Go." " I hate leaks, Eddie, any chance this baby will leak on my floor?" "No Sir, haven't had a DW leak in 10 years." We sign the paper work, Eddie shakes my hand as I wait for the sound of crushing bones and count my fingers. Eddie smiles, hops on Silver, and in a cloud of dust, gallops out of town. Who was that masked man?

I bash golf pros. I bash everybody. It has been my vast experience that only 5% of any of them know what the hell they are doing. 5% of "them" are good. 95% of golf pros, dentists, plumbers, doctors, government officials, non-government officials, information telephone operators, candle stick makers, Phds, pick someone...have no clue. Across the board its the same, no matter the title.

But, now and then you run into an Eddie, someone who's proud to do the job right. I love the name, don't you? Especially the ie on the end. Nice ring. Adds class. How many Eddies in your lifetime? How many teachers in school told you that everything was possible and inspired you to do great things? How many really good "anyones" have you had the pleasure of doing business with? Most go through life in a coma like the clerk at the drivers license bureau.

It's the old bell curve alive and well. 5% excel, 5% can't find their car, and 90% live and die and it's hard to tell they were ever here. Where do you fit in? From time to time I find myself lost
in any one of the three categories.

Jim McLellan
The AntiPro/the Maverick

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Free Golf Practice


Well boys and girls gas is now $3.67. A few short weeks ago I wrote that gas was $3.28, folks gasped. A year ago, Mr. & Mrs. America were convinced that gas at $2 per was a temporary spike. Predictors are afraid to predict where it may skyrocket. What’s your best guess? $12 a gallon? Laughing? Bookmark this article for future "laughter."

No one wants to hang out with a crank so lets "roll with the punches" I absolutely refuse to let Brash A-Rabs run my life. Placing our bets on the great ingenuity of America, there must be a Henry Ford or a Clem Kadiddlehopper working thru the night to make a car that can run on compressed air, tin cans, or cow crap.

So we drive less? Problem is there are millions of people in foreign countries who are now driving more. How much we drive may have no effect on the price of Ethel or Mildred. Grim news. So we do what we can do. We do our part and drive only when it is absolutely necessary.

Enough already. Lets look at two options, scratch our bald heads and see what makes sense.

Sample A: Hop in your car, stop for gas, yikes...drive to the range, find a place to park, buy a bucket, or two, of balls, get frustrated, drive back home, re-introduce yourself to your wife and family, feel guilty for missing an opportunity to have lunch with your loved ones. Total cost? Wet the end of your # 2 yellow pencil, find a scratch pad and do the arithmetic.

Sample B: The Best Things in Life are Free. If you have been following the sage advice of previous posts, you know the best place to acquire an awesome swing is right in your very own back yard. In the same amount of time you waste just driving to the range, you can be honing your super swing and never leave HOME. No money for gas, no money for balls...& you have a delightful lunch with your home companions.

Why fight it? For the bright golfer, there is NO Sample A. As an added bonus you can tell those who have us "over a barrel" just exactly where to stick their "push water!"

Jim McLellan
The AntiPro/The Maverick

Monday, April 21, 2008

Too Smart for Golf?



Lotsa foks ah no thank ya gotsta bee purdy smrt ta pla galf, da smrder da bedar dey sae. Weil, ah shur dont agre wid em. Ya sea mos da gafers wid hi lernin thank 2 mch & anlyze 2 mch & kaint pla fur sower posum poop. O'l Bubba mae knot bee stuped butt hez purdy dam dum. Spant 6 yars n da frst grayd. His prents er brudar & sistar and hez famly treez gawt no brenches. . . . . butt O Bubb ken pla ah purdy mean rond ah galf. Hes gawt 6 tows & kaint war galf shoz sew he gripes da grund wid hez bar feat....braeks pawr bi goly.

Bestest swangs kum from da dull mine wid kno learnin. Thoz foulks sey galf es jest lik hittin a rawk wid ah stik. EZ lik catin a fsh er shooten ah bar. Clem sez, Sweng on da frunt proch gawt no brins baught sweng purr fect ever tyme. Ya kaint bea 2 dum ta pla gud galf.
Jim McLellan
The Anti-Pro/The Maverick
Visit or Return to McGolf Home of the Perfect Golf Swing