Dishwasher Man

A small puddle of water in front of the dishwasher can't be of any major significance in the scope of the Big Picture. Drop a couple paper towels down, forget about it and go about the business of solving the worlds problems.

What's that you say? The dial sticks and won't move beyond the wash cycle? "How long have we had this dishwasher Honey, a year or has it been two?" 8 years?, no kidding. How much are dishwashers these days? " 5 hundred and up, can be $1,000 and more," honey says. "Not goin' for it," honey's husband replies.

A short drive to the appliance store, past the tires, thru the lawnmower department, past the treadmills and finally to dishwashers jumping up and down shouting..."buy me," "buy me!" We are approached by a smiling saleslady with makeup galore and glasses with a safety chain. Comes in handy when bending over to demonstrate how to load the bottom rack, wouldn't ya think?

We are thrifty shoppers, bargain hunters, not to be confused with cheap skates. We gravitate to the bare bones section. We totally understand that all the bells and whistles on the super models just lead to the greater possibility of leaking, smoking and malfunctioning.

We are all set to settle on a rock bottom unit, priced at what I remember dishwashers selling for, when my detective wife spots a poor lonely dishwasher in the corner. "Oh, that one," the saleslady smiles, "let me call downstairs and check on it." "They say it’s a floor model and they would like to (here's what I Luv to hear) . . ."they would like to get rid of it." We compare it's features with the bargain basement unit we R ready to trade plastic numbers for. A better unit, more features? Wonder how much more? How much? $169 bucks? Less than Old Cheapie? Done. Wrap it up. When can you deliver it? She doesn't know anything about delivery & hands us a piece of paper. Do I smell the beginnings of a problem? Here, call this number.

Oh boy, just when we thought we had found a dishwasher looker's dream, we run into a possible roadblock with the delivery guy. Well, there goes our great bargain. Dishwashers have absolutely no value unless they are delivered.

I call the 800 number, in the sky, and get some guy who had robots for parents. So condescending, I felt like I could puke. Told him we had guests coming in on Thursday and we needed it before then. "Don't know if that's possible, Tin Man mumbles." "Saleslady said you could." "We never talk to the sales people," is his unremorseful reply. Perfect. It's now Monday. Finally, I asked to speak with the delivery guy directly. I'm patched in to Eddie. Terrific, I thought, Eddie, why not Jimmy or Freddie or Frankie? Anytime anyone adds an ie or a y at the end of a perfectly good name, you've got trouble. These tags usually have been dumped in Jr. High school. Delivery man says, "can't do it Wednesday," "full up." "Thursday is too late, Eddie...we have company arriving." "I can do it tomorrow." "Did you say tomorrow as in Tuesday?" "Yes Sir, how about noon?" "Ideal, see you then."

As the town whistle blows, at exactly 12 noon, Eddie shows up in his pickup truck. A delivery guy on time? I'm dreaming! "How are you today Sir?" "Great Eddie and you?" "Just fine."

Eddie never should have been passed up as a defensive tackle for the Green Bay Packers. Eddie's back is wider than his truck. Shoulders at least a yard wide, barrel chested, and arms bigger than the village blacksmith. A broad smile and. . .get this. . .dimples.

Eddie grabs his trusty dolly (with one hand) and slips in the kitchen door. Big Eddie has the leaky dishwasher, with the stuck dial, unhooked and out the door faster than you can say "Jackie Robinson." I peek out the window & watch Mr. Universe unload our bargain. Eddie reaches in his truck and lifts our DW out with straight arms, sets it on the dolly and is back in the kitchen in a blur. Muscular Eddie, deftly reaches in his small bag of tricks (tools), hooks up the wiring and plumbing, smiles and tells us we're "Good to Go." " I hate leaks, Eddie, any chance this baby will leak on my floor?" "No Sir, haven't had a DW leak in 10 years." We sign the paper work, Eddie shakes my hand as I wait for the sound of crushing bones and count my fingers. Eddie smiles, hops on Silver, and in a cloud of dust, gallops out of town. Who was that masked man?

I bash golf pros. I bash everybody. It has been my vast experience that only 5% of any of them know what the hell they are doing. 5% of "them" are good. 95% of golf pros, dentists, plumbers, doctors, government officials, non-government officials, information telephone operators, candle stick makers, Phds, pick someone...have no clue. Across the board its the same, no matter the title.

But, now and then you run into an Eddie, someone who's proud to do the job right. I love the name, don't you? Especially the ie on the end. Nice ring. Adds class. How many Eddies in your lifetime? How many teachers in school told you that everything was possible and inspired you to do great things? How many really good "anyones" have you had the pleasure of doing business with? Most go through life in a coma like the clerk at the drivers license bureau.

It's the old bell curve alive and well. 5% excel, 5% can't find their car, and 90% live and die and it's hard to tell they were ever here. Where do you fit in? From time to time I find myself lost

in any one of the three categories.

Jim McLellan
The AntiPro/the Maverick

Visit or Return to McGolf Home of the Perfect Golf Swing

Free Golf Practice

Well boys and girls gas is now $3.67. A few short weeks ago I wrote that gas was $3.28, folks gasped. A year ago, Mr. & Mrs. America were convinced that gas at $2 per was a temporary spike. Predictors are afraid to predict where it may skyrocket. What’s your best guess? $12 a gallon? Laughing? Bookmark this article for future "laughter."

No one wants to hang out with a crank so lets "roll with the punches" I absolutely refuse to let Brash A-Rabs run my life. Placing our bets on the great ingenuity of America, there must be a Henry Ford or a Clem Kadiddlehopper working thru the night to make a car that can run on compressed air, tin cans, or cow crap.

So we drive less? Problem is there are millions of people in foreign countries who are now driving more. How much we drive may have no effect on the price of Ethel or Mildred. Grim news. So we do what we can do. We do our part and drive only when it is absolutely necessary.

Enough already. Lets look at two options, scratch our bald heads and see what makes sense.

Sample A: Hop in your car, stop for gas, yikes...drive to the range, find a place to park, buy a bucket, or two, of balls, get frustrated, drive back home, re-introduce yourself to your wife and family, feel guilty for missing an opportunity to have lunch with your loved ones. Total cost? Wet the end of your # 2 yellow pencil, find a scratch pad and do the arithmetic.

Sample B: The Best Things in Life are Free. If you have been following the sage advice of previous posts, you know the best place to acquire an awesome swing is right in your very own back yard. In the same amount of time you waste just driving to the range, you can be honing your super swing and never leave HOME. No money for gas, no money for balls...& you have a delightful lunch with your home companions.

Why fight it? For the bright golfer, there is NO Sample A. As an added bonus you can tell those who have us "over a barrel" just exactly where to stick their "push water!"

Jim McLellan

The AntiPro/The Maverick

Visit or Return to McGolf Home of the Perfect Golf Swing

Too Smart for Golf?

Lotsa foks ah no thank ya gotsta bee purdy smrt ta pla galf, da smrder da bedar dey sae. Weil, ah shur dont agre wid em. Ya sea mos da gafers wid hi lernin thank 2 mch & anlyze 2 mch & kaint pla fur sower posum poop. O'l Bubba mae knot bee stuped butt hez purdy dam dum. Spant 6 yars n da frst grayd. His prents er brudar & sistar and hez famly treez gawt no brenches. . . . . butt O Bubb ken pla ah purdy mean rond ah galf. Hes gawt 6 tows & kaint war galf shoz sew he gripes da grund wid hez bar feat....braeks pawr bi goly.

Bestest swangs kum from da dull mine wid kno learnin. Thoz foulks sey galf es jest lik hittin a rawk wid ah stik. EZ lik catin a fsh er shooten ah bar. Clem sez, Sweng on da frunt proch gawt no brins baught sweng purr fect ever tyme. Ya kaint bea 2 dum ta pla gud galf.

Jim McLellan

The Anti-Pro/The Maverick
Visit or Return to McGolf Home of the Perfect Golf Swing

Oscar Fish

A person should never be so busy that they can't take a moment to watch the Oscars swim at Wally World. So I did!

Captive in the tank at Wal-Mart were a half dozen Oscars. I was intrigued by how they could swim forward and backward and sideward and obliqueward, and upward and downward, without thinking about it. These beautiful creatures moved in any direction their tiny hearts desired without thinking about . . ."move this fin, now this fin, and then that fin, and finally this fin." Dern gud thang the PGA dont latch on 'em, Bubba . . . theard be pandemonium & wrecks all over the tank.

It seems these Astronotus ocellatus were listening to a waltz symphony in their tiny fish heads as they moved about in such graceful harmony. Then there's man, rumored to have brains, that "THINKS" he needs to be taught what "FIN" to move next and when. You can learn a LOT about the golf swing by watching a fish swim or a centipede walk. Take the time to do it!

Jim McLellan

The Anti-Pro/The Maverick

Visit or Return to McGolf Home of the Perfect Golf Swing

The Dentist Chair!

Do YOU know anyone who loves going to the dentist, lying flat on their helpless back, relinquishing all control over to "The Mad Dentist?" What joy to spit blood, have needles jabbed in our swollen sore gums, pink goop crammed in our mouth for impressions, suction devices, hard plastic forced in our mouth for x-rays, & blinded by their stupid bright light. Not to mention the picture on the wall, of fake flowers painted by some dirt ball kindergartner, that is supposed to give us that nice relaxed feeling.

While treating myself to a double stick of delicious Double Mint chewing gum, I almost paid double the price. Out comes a cap (tooth cap, not a golf cap) Better in the wad than down the sink drain. The cap is worth more than it's weight in gold. No exaggeration.

I phone the dentist, "Hi there, I'm one of your valued customers and one of my caps came off...how much to glue it back on?" "No charge, if we put it on," was the response. Seems fair. "Come on over, we'll TAKE care of you!"

Thank God, I wasn't in any pain. The rates charged at the dentist office are in direct proportion to the amount of pain you are experiencing. Hurt just a little, $350. Hurt a fair amount, $550 (but not fair). Hurts a whole lot, special today $950. Hurts like hell, "How much equity do you have in your home?"

I ease into THE CHAIR and think about what happens to people who are flat on their backs . . . Would it happen to me? A perky dental assistant stops by and skips away with my tooth for some minor cleaning. So far, so good. She returns with a smile on her face! "The dentist will be right with you Mr. McLellan." Several years later the MAN shows up "Hi Mr. McLellan, it seems we didn't put your cap on after all." "Well, OK, I hear someone sheepishly mumble, as in me" No doubt about it...I'm in an extremely compromised position. How much can a drop of glue cost? I certainly hope he will remember that our family did buy him his new Porche Carrera GT (a late-2003 model with an open cockpit and a six-liter V-10 engine that will produce 558 horsepower), the fastest street-legal Porsche on earth at around a cool $180,000.00.

"That will be $120, Sir!" I'm shocked, plus I hate it when anyone calls me Sir. I can feel my blood pressure starting to rocket out of control as I lie there looking up at the "masked man." No need to stick my hands up, I'm already screwed . . . OR am I? "$120? that's an outrage, a rip-off," I yell loud enough for everyone in the other dental chairs to hear....and those in the waiting room, and behind the counter, and in the bathrooms, and those walking by and across the street & truck drivers with loud mufflers driving by...to hear. "Well, Mr. McLellan that's our policy." " Screw your policy! Give me my tooth!!! I rip off my bib, sit straight up in the chair and flex my lats! "Well Sir, (there's that word again), "what are you going to do about it?" he inquires with an arrogant smirk on his face? "I'll show you" as I charge out the door leaving stares of disbelief in my wake.

My lovely wife is waiting for me in the car. "How'd it go Honey?" she asks." "Fine, here's my tooth . . . the sumbitch wanted to charge me $120 for a drop of glue." We stopped by Walgreen's and bought some of the same kind of glue that dentists use for $4, that's a $116 dollar savings, with glue left over!. I told the cashier what had happened at the dentists office and she said the same thing happened to her. She said the glue works great, and it does. That was two years ago and the cap is doing just fine, thank you very much ladies and gentleman (as per Elvis accent).

So there you have it. Another example of self reliance for today's sermon.. It would not be discreet for me to divulge the name of the dental facility or the dentist. Above all, my policy is to be discreet at every turn. Integrity and professionalism must be a creed I honor dispite any adversities.

P.S. Dr. Mathis, Castle Dental, Franklin, Tennessee.

Jim McLellan

The Anti-Pro/The Maverick

Visit or Return to McGolf Home of the Perfect Golf Swing

Golf Horror Story?

It's your turn! Yes, YOU!!!

Have you had a traumatic experience at the hands of an inept golf pro? Treated like dirt at a golf course resort? Been Ripped-OFF by anyone in the golf industry? Well, say so. You have a voice, via The Anti-Pro, and our readership is world wide. Put it out there.


We can make a difference and it all starts with... YOUR Horror Story...Your OPINION!


Ready when you are. How about ....

NOW!!


Jim McLellan

The Anti-Pro/The Maverick

Visit or Return to McGolf Home of the Perfect Golf Swing

The Bug Man

Got Bugs?

Unless you live in a vacuum or in a sterile test tube in a laboratory or on Mercury where the daytime temp is 750 degrees or Jupiter where the temperature is minus 180 degrees you're living with bugs. Most bugs are shy and bashful and don't walk around strutting their stuff. Their bug parents taught them that unless they were careful they would end up on the wrong side of a shoe. So they live in cracks, under stored items and anywhere they can hide. If you live in areas of the country where you co-habitate with bad bugs, really mean bugs like the deadly black widow and vicious brown recluse spider, you had better be prepared for war.

So we have our choice of eliminating the threat these bugs pose to our life by (option one) calling the Bug Man or killing these predators ourselves. Hold the phone, what do we know about killing bugs. Aren't there professionally trained bug killers with their little chrome plated sprayers who come to our homes on a regular basis giving us peace of mind so we can sleep at night without one of "them" crawling up our leg for a midnight snack?

We research for a solution to our problem. We find The Bug Man. He tells us that we need to spray every month and that only he has the secret formula that gets rid of the enemy. For only $35 a month he will show up in his white shirt, with the official insignia on the pocket, to handle our alarming bug infestation problem.

I have questions. 1) why does he have to come every month? 2) how do I know what is really in his sprayer. 3) does he have a criminal record and is he here "casing" my home? And, 4) does he do a better job of spraying than I would do...he doesn't live here.

Option two is confronting the bugs head on, myself. What do I know? I haven't been professionally trained in "Bug Battle." Call in the experts a voice is telling me. That's easy, pick up the yellow pages or ask a neighbor what they do about their bugs. Go ahead, you're busy... make the call, get someone over, and sleep well at night.

Back to option two. I call a, "do it yourself," bug killer supply place. They inform me that spraying for bugs more than every 90 days is a waste of product. Not what my bug man said. hummmmmmm!
Option two needs my serious consideration. What if, as per the self reliant mind set, that found my best golf in the first place, I take matters into my own hands? I ask the experts at the bug supply place, sure enough, same stuff My Bug Man uses, and he ships enough product to kill bugs for years at the same cost My Bug Man charges me for ONE MONTH!

"What are the advantages of doing this myself?" I ask myself. I pay closer attention on where to spray... I live here, I know what's in the "juice"..I put it there, I have no criminal record and have no interest in stealing my own stuff, and I have a nice warm and fuzzy feeling that I can do this myself.

Anything really wrong with having a Bug Service? Nope. We liked our bug man and will miss him terribly & we really did trust him, Well kinda. But if you're a Maverick and pack your own parachute, there's a better way! And that's what I do, and I'm so proud of myself, and it's fun.

Home schoolers excel by the time they get to college yet we send our priceless children off to school (aka daycare centers) to be dumbed down to the level of the lowest IQ in class. Schools are now adopting the principle that we don't want to make the class moron feel bad so we won't even use a red pencil to grade his paper and point out his Wro, Wro, Wro, Wrong anwers..don't want us to use the word Wrong.

What about golf? For a moment, let’s consider hiring ourselves to find our best golf. We are not talking about becoming a concert pianist that requires 10 fingers going in 10 different directions trying to end up on the right black and white keys. No Sir, we are talking about hitting a rock with a stick that only takes two seconds … less time than it takes for the concert pianist to adjust his piano bench.

You swing back to here and over to here. You hand some sticks to a group of kids ages 4 to 7 and say. "Do this." “Swing like me,” and they do! Why in the hell would you think that a golf school with a "certified" Bug Professional could do a better job. How about a worse job? Very possible.

Jim McLellan

The Anti-Pro/The Maverick

Visit or Return to McGolf Home of the Perfect Golf Swing

Fake Dog Crap

In my concern and frustration over the apparent total disregard for the truth about how the golf swing really really works, I must share this with you!

There was a time when we sold our McLellan Golf DVDs on EBay like hotcakes. During certain periods we sold several everyday to golfers world-wide. Our record is impeccable, having done business with EBay since 1997, rave reviews from customers who gave us 100% positive feedback. Amazon backed us up with ALL 5 Star reviews, 100s of golfers wrote will glowing praise on how we were the only instruction that made a positive contribution to their golf game.

But, there is a BIG difference between 1997 and 2008. Every lame-brained, garden variety, golf prophylactic are hawking their wares on the infinite Internet these days. Any golfer "stung" by these thugs has come to believe that nothing works. They wouldn't accept free tickets to heaven. Perhaps you have looked at some of their stuff & fallen for their pitch because they were members of the pga (I meant to write that small) or you saw them on the goof channel, or they were featured on the front cover of Mad Magazine with their freshly whitened teeth and tan in a bottle. The pretty boys sure look the part, don't they? But can they teach? No. Make that Hell No! But, they are experts at convincing you that to be good at golf takes a LOT of time and a LOT of money. No kidding, well then . . . toss me an average 7 year old and I will have him or her swinging better than 99% of golfers who have been playing since talking pictures......in about 12 1/2 minutes. How, because I'm gifted?... that's part of it. But mainly because the golf swing is as easy as pie, and I seem to be the last living golf pro who knows it.

So, who's nuts here? Where's the sanity? Where's the common sense? Were are the results? I won't say my students know because I'll look like the rest of the thieves. Oh, what the hell....Yes I will say it. "My students and I make a fantastic combo...better than a triple cheesebe, fries, and a Biggie drink!"

Before I forget, in my frustration I just checked EBay to see if there was more interest in our golf instruction or Fake Dog Crap. You guessed it! About as low as it gets, doncha think?

Jim McLellan
The Anti-Pro/The Maverick
Visit or Return to McGolf Home of the Perfect Golf Swing

*image not approved by editor (Elaine McLellan) :)

The Maverick/The Anti-Pro

A new reader might wonder why some golf pro is "bashing" other golf instructors. Those of you who are familiar with my philosophy and teaching methods understand my "ranting." For those of you who have not had the distinct pleasure of my company, this article is for you.

If you could read my emails, if you could hear the phone calls I get, if you were present when other golfers tell me what other golf instruction has done TO them not.. FOR them, you may get a glimpse of why I am who I am, The Anti-Pro the Maverick, in the vast sea of Golf.

Lets get real up close and personal. No gossip, no opinions, no prejudice...just the straight scoop, just the facts, Ma'am.

The following examples are real, just the names have been changed to protect the innocent: It's Monday morning at Bob's Simple Swing Golf School. The bus rolls in with a load of starry eyed golfers willing to shell out $1500 per week for golf school for him and his wife. That's $1500 each + hotel accommodations + air fare + meals + souvenirs. Let round it off to around to a cool... 5 Grand.

Unless they have been ruined, by another golf school, they show up with a fairly decent natural swing they learned from Uncle Orville. Fast forward to the end of the week and their golf swings have made a complete transformation. Their swing are hardly recognizable from their Monday swings. What was natural is gone. Instead their swings are contrived phony looking, ineffective, inconsistent, powerless, travesties. They have blown $5,000 for something they can't even use as fertilizer. Bad news for them, good news for the golf school . . . for you see, next Monday in rolls another bus.

One of my students calls to ask if I can give him a personal lesson. We meet at a local driving range. His swing is terrific, he is hitting the ball long and straight and consistent. I asked him why he thought he needed a golf lesson, and his answer was he just wanted to hang out with me for an hour. Who would blame him? A class from a local college shows up. Kids from 18 to 22 with all the potential of playing some fabulous golf. They hit several balls.....not too bad. Then some pot-bellied P.E. instructor starts to show them how to swing the golf club. Oh, my God, can I keep my mouth shut? My student is appalled, I'm fried. In less than 5 minutes these poor kids are missing the ball entirely, hitting the buckets, or the ground and their swings are shot. The more instruction the worse they get. The Dis--tructor is oblivious to the damage he's inflicting on these poor innocent babes. I would be surprised if any of them haven't quit our game.

Everyday I get phone calls and emails from golfers telling me how some PGA pro has told them to do this or that and they are confused and frustrated. Why can't the PGA agree on anything, they ask. Most have ADDED 20 stokes to their scores, have lost 20 to 50 yards, and are seriously considering putting their clubs up for sale on eBay.

For years and years I've heard it, seen it, been exposed to the abuse of the golf student....on a daily basis. It is epidemic. It is not something I'm making up to make me look good. I already know how good I am...My students have told me so.

If you had been exposed to what I have, you would start to get some idea as to why I'm The Anti-Pro. You would be too!

Jim McLellan

The AntiPro/The Maverick

Visit or Return to McGolf Home of the Perfect Golf Swing

Gary Player's Advice

So, Gary Player, with over one hundred sixty-six wins, including 9 majors and 3 Masters, gives Trevor Immelman advice on what to do to win the Masters.

Why then are there thousands and thousands of golf instructors who say Gary's advice isn't important? Either they are ignorant or they don't fully understand how deadly important it really is.

They are NOT teaching THE most important part of the golf swing! Without IT the golfer can do EVERYTHING right, except this ONE THING, and have disastrous results.

In good conscience . . . how in the world can a golf instructor say IT is NOT important, take their students money, watch them get worse, & laugh all the way to the bank? They can get away with it because the student will NOT stand up to his instructor and tell him, that quite frankly, they are not getting any better! The number one most important factor in the golf swing is what all consistently great golfers, good golfers, and mighty fine golfers do. Why won't they teach it? Duh, maybe they don't know how to teach?

And what it the most important thing they should be teaching their students? It's what Gary told Trevor to do to win the Masters....& it worked didn't it?

"KEEP YOUR HEAD STILL!"

Jim McLellan/The Maverick

Visit or Return to McGolf Home of the Perfect Golf Swing

Masters Golf

28 years ago, 0n December 16, 1979, Trevor Immelman was born in South Africa. Yesterday, the Masters champ traded his hospital nightie for the coveted Green Jacket. In another 28 years or so__A baby boy, born today, will be trading HIS hospital nightie for another Green Jacket!

Amongst others born at that time, Trevor was one of the most helpless mammals on earth. A very short 28 Spring Times ago in Augusta, Mr. Immelmans fragile survival was totally dependent on his adoring parents. Today THAT helpless baby became an instant millionaire several times over and has people scratching their heads and asking..."What's an Immelman?"

What about Trevor in another 28 years, age 56? Will he be a healthy and blessed predominant player on the Seniors Tour or will he be largely forgotten and be watching the Masters from the comfort of his Lazy Boy?

&&& What about you in 28 years, age. . . ? Will you be "with us" or perhaps you will have traded in your sticks for Harp lessons. Will you still be relying on Golf lessons to fix your habitual problems? Will you ever find the golf game you are capable of playing? What will you have to change to give your Golf Epitaph a fighting chance?

Jim Mclellan/The Maverick

Visit or Return to McGolf Home of the Perfect Golf Swing

Golf Swing Fast

If I would have turned the phrase around & put Fast, first and written Fast Golf Swing it would have made perfect sense to you...you have seen it ten billion times and counting.
Fast, as an adverb, means something done quickly, in a short period of time. "When the boys are chasing her, she can run real FAST." Fast, as a noun means to avoid. "He was on a Fast prior to his lab blood workup." The title to this post is, indeed, correct... A Golf Swing Fast.

Make it a common practice to include a considerable amount of time practicing without conscious thought intervention. You will discover that the problem with your golf swing, all along, has been__THINKING!

You have had the mistaken belief that in order to swing a golf club you had to think about it. Therein lies the problem. You can't think and hit (effectively) at the same time.

Jim McLellan/The Maverick

Visit or Return to McGolf Home of the Perfect Golf Swing

Super Quick Golf Lesson!

A Four Part Action Thriller!

1) Practice the "windup" position until you no longer

have to think about it.

2) Practice the "windup" position without moving your head until you no longer have to think about it.

3) Pracitce the finish position until you no longer have to think about it.

4) Swing the golf club without thinking about it.

Done!

Jim McLellan "Shazam"

Unforgettable Golf Match

One day, long before my '49 James Dean Merc became a collectors item, I was on my way to play a golf match with some Whiz-Bang rich kid from some dusty oil town in Oklahoma.

I stopped for $3 bucks worth of gas ... that's 12 gallons @.24 cents per & checked the oil. Every time I stopped for gas I had to add a couple quarts of non-detergent oil ... detergent oil went through the Gray Ghost like water down the creek.

I pulled up to Willis Case Golf Course (pictured above), in Denver, Colorado, in a cloud of smoke. I got more attention than an arrival by Ben Hogan. Dressed for the event in my Levi's, white T-shirt and saddle shoes ... I grabbed my old canvas golf bag, with a hole in it, that housed my, First Flight golf clubs and headed for the Starters Tent. This particular tournament was match play.

Just then a Shiny Black Cadillac pulled up and out stepped the Oklahoma State Jr. Golf Champion, Jimmy Jackson. Jimmy's attire consisted of expensive looking yellow slacks and matching shirt, yellow Kangaroo golf shoes. His Negro caddie opened the trunk and fetched Jimmy's beautifully matched golf clubs in ...you guessed it ... a yellow Kangaroo golf bag. Jimmy had some buddies with him and when we were introduced they made no effort to hide their laughter at Jimmy's opponent. Jimmy could beat this bum like a drum, they snickered.

Jimmy was first to drive off the first tee. His shot was about 225 yds straight down the middle. His buddies and caddy cheered. I had some adrenalin pumping and hit my drive about 250 but in the right rough. Jimmy hit an iron straight as an arrow just short of the green. I managed to get my ball on the green. Jimmy chipped up about 10 feet away and 2 putted for a bogey. I two putt, for a par.. I'm ONE Up! Unbelievable!

On hole Two, a par three, I hit the green and two putt for a par, Jimmy hit to the right, chipped on and two putted for a bogey. I'm Two Up...Is this really happening?

Hole Three ... I pared he bogeyed...I'm Three up.

Hole Four...I pared he bogeyed....I'm Four up. His buddies head for the clubhouse. His caddy has a worried look on his face and informs Jimmy that he is, after all, the Oklahoma State Jr. Champion and 'This Kid" was whoopin his butt.

Hole Five, Par for me bogey for Jimmy, I'm Five up. Jimmy turns red in the face and starts swearing like a wildcatter.

Hole Six, par/bogey...6 up,

Hole Seven, par/bogey 7 up.

Hole 8, par/bogey 8 up.

Hole 9, par/bogey 9 up. His buddies came out of the clubhouse ..."Hey Jimmy how's it going?" "I'm 9 down," the yellow clad super star grumbles, they weren't laughing, they better not, but I was, internally!

Hole 10, par/Bogey, Match Over.

Jimmy yells at his chauffeur to pull the Caddy around, his caddy throws the clubs in the trunk, Jimmy doesn't shake my hand, leaps in the "hearse" and at his command, they peal out.

I went in the clubhouse and treated myself to the best cheeseburger deluxe and thickest chocolate malt I ever drank. I sat and admired the view of the beautiful Rocky Mountains to the West and thought about how wonderful life was. Hope the "bomb" makes it home ... I can't wait to tell Dad and Mom about THE MATCH!

Jim McLellan/The Maverick

Visit or Return to McGolf Home of the Perfect Golf Swing

Steering the Golf Swing

All the bets are riding on the last hole. Claude is in the rough to the right. Harvey (don't call him Harv) has topped his drive and barely reaches the ladies tee. Fred just yanked it in the trees to the left. You're up, your turn, you're a wee bit nervous. The fairway is narrow and it's starting to drizzle and get dark. All you have to do place the ball somewhere in the fairway___a tad over 230 yards would be fine and oh, so dandy.

Steering the golf swing is one of the fatal errors in golf. Trying to "Guide the Shot" invites the golfer to 'attempt the impossible ... correcting perceived problems during the swing. The swing is too fast to make any adjustments and steering raises hell with rhythm and timing, & the wheels fall off the swing.

The golf course is NOT the place to make corrections to your swing. Perfect place to build your swing is in your very own back yard and the practice range.

You're essentially stuck with the swing you've got! It's Time to, "trust your swing!" Don't try to "guide the shot" with some shortened swing. You want a BIG beautiful smooth golf swing, spilling over with 3/4 Waltz time rhythm. That...wins the loot, drinks and dinner at the 19th hole.

Jim McLellan/The Maverick

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Golfers, Kid in the Candy Store

There are more pages on the Dub, Dub, Dub...than there are people in the World, 550 Billion and growing exponentially every split second.

How does The Informaton Age effect the golfer? 10s of 1,000s of golf merchants are getting "on line" at an alarming rate. Each day, more golf peddlers get on the highway and are causing massive traffic jams in golfer's skulls.

"Add 30 yards to your drives." " Lower your score by 10 strokes in a week." "Putt like a Pro." "Hit your irons like a Tiger." "Add 3 inches to your 'Putter'." "Grow hair on your golf bag." "Loose 20 pounds and 20 balls in an afternoon round of golf."

The golf surfer has one foot on a banana peel and the other one in the nut house. The GLUT is systemic, infiltrating his cerebellum, causing confusion, frustration, performance anxiety, bankruptcy, acne, neuritis and neuralgia, tendinitis, blurred vision, stiff back and neck, divorce, strokes and heart attacks, hearing loss, insomnia.... More Importantly....short drives, terrible iron play, high scores, embarrassment, and cartoon like goofy golf!

The degree of ineptness the golfer is experiencing today is directly proportional to the amount of information OVERLOAD he is exposed to...... Surf on!

Jim McLellan/The Maverick

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Golf: How to Hit the Long Drive

Dateline, 1957, Englewood, Colorado.

Here is a view looking West at, our family owned, Mountain View Golf Club.

On a clear day you can see snow capped Mt. Evans and several other 14,000+ peaks. A drive to the foothills, entrance to the Purple Mountain Majesties, takes only 20 minutes.

To separate the driving range from our par 3 golf course my Dad ingeniously built a chicken wire fence....no small feat. At the far end of the range is a fence 250 yards distant and 20 feet high.

Using an off the shelf persimmon head driver with a standard steel shaft and old driving range balls, I'm clearing that fence....A 270+ yard carry. I would often hit 10 or 15 balls in a row over that fence.

I will tell you HOW I was able to do this in my up coming book..."If you can....COUNT TO THREE!"

It would be interesting to see how far today's big guns could drive using an old golf club and inferior driving range golf balls, wouldn't it?.

Jim Mclellan/The Maverick
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Golf Instruction Illusion

Wouldn't you think that the best golf instruction would be found at a reputable looking golf facility? The more reputable the better? A place with iron gates, bikini waxed greens, emerald green fairways, bunker sand courtesy of a tropical island paradise, an all glass and stone club house built by the great grandson of Frank Lloyd Wright with a view of the links, and a golf instruction staff with straight whitened teeth, coiffured dos, golden tans, canary yellow palm beech slacks, hot pink Nike shirts, panama straw hats, and reptile shoes, and private parking for their Red Corvette, Red Lamborghini, Red Ferrari, and Red Stutz Bearcat. . . this place bubbling over with class, a sanctuary where the best golf instruction lives, a place that will make an incredible difference in your golf game?

Remember the driving range you stopped at on the way over to the "CLUB?" The rubber mats in a state of disrepair, the range with bare spots and yellowed grass, the old "caged" army jeep pulling a contraption that picked up balls, and the tattered flags patrons were encouraged to aim at. AND, The golf pro, you're kidding, with the beer gut, worn out old out-dated slacks, and perspiration stained JC Penney's shirt. He had just finished a lesson and was on the way to his car to "brown bag it" with yesterdays lunch, lovingly packed by his wife. A tuna fish sand & coffee from his plaid vintage thermos would have to do, he's busy! This yellow toothed gent was booked solid and didn't have time to dine in the men's grill at the club. His appearance was a far cry from the pretty boys at the club above but ...."Boy could he teach."

One facility deals in glitz marketing and the other deals in golf lessons. One facility reeks of snob appeal, the other with bare bones, back to basics reality. One facility gives the member some faux status, status and the other one you would never mention to your closest friend. Pick one!

Jim McLellan/The Maverick

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Tiger Woods Golf Swing

Master Tiger Woods, and his "household name" cronies, have two things in common: 1. They are rich, & 2. They would NOT have the vaguest idea how to give a golf lesson.

This elite group of the super stars___ raised on Krypton___ have never spent years rubbing elbows with the "man on the street golfer." They have never seen tens of thousands of driving range swings that make up 999% of all golfers___like I have. They have no idea how the average/normal golfer thinks, what his problems are, what his goals are, or what advice would even begin to be of benefit to their golf game.

Instead, they have showered with other super stars at the Glitzy Country Club Golf Tournament Venues, forbidden to the "Joe Bag Of Donuts" golfer who only dreams of driving by... Augusta. The game they play is NOT the game we play. They are players...NOT teachers.

Do NOT make the mistake of thinking that because they are expert players that they are qualified to teach. They know as much about teaching as they know about the weather on Betelgeuse!

Jim McLellan/The Maverick

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Golf Instructor!

So Bob,..... Your golf instructor wants you to do what?

Jim McLellan
"The Maverick"

Analyzing The Golf Swing

Taking the golf swing apart and trying to put it back together again is more difficult than putting Humpty Dumpty back together again. There's always another egg, BUT you only have ONE Golf Swing....DON'T RUIN IT!

Jim McLellan/The Maverick

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Ha, Ha, Ha

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Fake Mona Lisa

Can you spot a fake Mona Lisa? There are 1,000s of artists who can duplicate "Old Sour Puss" and only an art expert could tell the diff.

When Rich Little does an impression of John Wayne or George Burns can you tell the difference? It takes a sophisticated voice analysis machine to tell the difference.

Kids are great mimics. They look, they copy, they do. Did you know that birds learn to sing from copying the songs of Dad and Mom bird? They are not born with the ability to sing on their own. Did you find walking to school confusing? Remember when the instructors tried to explain how the arms move in contrary motion to the legs and how the knees bent and the muscles flexed to keep you from "kissing' the sidewalk?

Golf caddies had, strangely enough, what was referred to as "caddy swings" "Looping" for a various club members, they picked up the "essence" of the golf swing through repeated exposure and osmosis. Many of the great golfers of yesteryear began their love of golf and discovery of their own golf swings as caddies. Caddy Swings can be the most natural, graceful, pretty and effective swings known to man. When a reporter first saw Bobby Jones swing a club from afar, he mistook Bobby's swing for Stewart Maiden...an instructor in Atlanta where Mr. Jones first played golf. Young Bobby Jones was a great Mimic. It came as no surprise that watching Stewart naturally built Bobby's swing to the point where the two swings were nearly identical!

Today's golfers should seriously consider the fact that they can have a mighty fine swing by simply watching a good swing over and over and over, letting it hard-wire directly into the brain and eschewing the analysis and technical approach. Taking a Golf Swing apart is totally unnecessary (& harmful) in acquiring a good swing.

The All Mighty Golf Industry Machine works hard to convince golfers that buying a golf swing is expensive & takes a considerable amount of time. Acquiring a fine golf swing by copying is a well guarded secret. Selling simple, simply wouldn't make the greedy predators enough money.

Jim McLellan

"The Maverick"

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Keep Your Eye on the Ball

Having a problem keeping your eye on the ball? If I ask you to keep your eye on the ball, chances are you would look at the TOP of the ball, & then hit the TOP of the ball and..... TOP IT!
As you address the ball, stare at the BACK of the ball...the area of the ball where you want the clubhead to make contact with the ball. Continue to glare at the BACK of the ball until you become consciously aware that the ball is GONE. It will make a BIG difference in your golf.

Jim McLellan
"The Maverick"

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The Swing's the Thing

.....Not The Body Parts! It's NOT about the pivot, grip, stance, knees, elbows, spine, shoulders, hips. It's NOT about move this, now this, now that, and finally this. It's about..... THE SWING!

The body parts are merely spectators in the bleachers. Down on the field is where the action takes place. Down on the field is where it's at!

The Swing, Swings and the ball gets in the way. Close your eyes and FEEL your hands swinging THE ......CLUBHEAD!

Jim McLellan "The Maverick"

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The Pick Pocket

For some, inexplicable, reason there are thoz who take great delight in fooling other people. All is fair as long as it is understood that it is entertainment__ such as a magic trick. But, when the "trick" steals money from individuals in the guise that it will benefit their golf game___ then it becomes highway robbery.

I have a real problem with anyone who sells information, to golf students, that is physically impossible for them to do. Case in point___ the greater golf industry appears to be completely in the dark as to what actually transpires during the golf swing from shortly after the start of the down swing to shortly after impact. What they don't seem to understand, or they are "pulling a fast one," is the golf swing is too fast for the golfer's reaction time to make a correction during this part of the swing. More to the point, the golfer is in a helpless coma for this blur of time.

Most of the golf swing is an automatic reflex until the inept golf instructor sniffs an opportunity to sell bogus nonsense. The golf swing works wonderfully well "unmolested!"

When unsuspecting golf students allow the instructor to convince them to move the swing into the "conscious thought"...mind ___instead of leaving it where it belongs, in the subconscious mind!, it becomes a recipe for disaster.

So which is it? The instructor really doesn't know how the golf swing works or he's betting that his student won't notice he's picking their pocket? Any instructor who is telling you what you should be doing in the impact area is stealing your money. Any instructor who gives you the impression that the golf swing is some mysterious, complex/complicated maneuver that requires a multitude of lessons is using the old razzle-dazzle...."slight of hand trick"... and I'm steamed! Punishment need not be too extreme, say 3 weeks in the electric chair?

Jim McLellan

The Maverick

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Rich Golfer, Poor Golfer

There are roughly 10 million millionaires in America. The land of opportunity...I wouldn't want to live anywhere else, would you?. These millionaires have an interesting employer___, themselves! No one tells them they can't have a raise, no one telling them they are downsizing and that they need to look for another JOB.

The rich golfer can afford the finest in lessons, reading and watching materials, and all the benefits of being able to buy anything including a golf swing. The rich guy is also accustomed to having other people "do the work," for him.

There are things that money CAN'T buy...besides love. You can't hire someone to workout for you. AND... no matter how much you spend on golf lessons, or books, or any form of advice...You can't buy a golf swing any more than you can hire someone to eat for you or take a shower for you or do push-ups for you.

Most of the legendary golfers, Hogan, Snead, Nelson, Sarazen, Nicklaus, Trevino...and more came from humble/modest backgrounds. Some were dirt poor.

Not being able to afford golf lessons from the high profile instructor who adorns the cover of a mag rag, or have the loot to travel to Sand and Surf Golf School Resort ...IS A PLUS. Because_____ great golfers NEVER come from RICH BACKGROUNDS. Hogan said, "I dug my swing out of the dirt," Snead was a hillbilly from Virginia who couldn't afford golf shoes. Lee Buck Trevino was born in Dallas, Texas in poverty to parents of Mexican descent. His mother, Juanita Trevino, and grandfather, a gravedigger, raised Trevino. He never knew his father. At the age of five, Lee started working in the cotton fields. Trevino was introduced to the game of golf when his uncle gave him a few old golf balls and a rusty golf club. From this point on, Lee could not get enough. He spent most of his free time sneaking into nearby country clubs to practice his newly found activity. Poor Boy Lee won 29 times on the PGA Tour, including six majors!

So, if you don't drive a Rolls, wear a Rolex, belong at the Ritzy CC, or light your Havana Cigars with $1,000 dollar bills, you are among the "privileged set," with a real good chance of discovering how this game really works.

Jim McLellan
The Maverick

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Test for Choosing a Golf Instructor

The golf instructor you pick will have a profound effect on the quality of your golf, the joy of your golf, the consistency of your golf, the skill of your golf, and the independence from further instruction of your golf.

Instructor A: Exposed to golf during his teens, is captain of his high school golf team, goes to college on a golf scholarship, goes to PGA school, works as an apprentice under a certified Class A PGA golf instructor at a country club, begins teaching.

Instructor B: Exposed to golf at age 8, sells buckets of balls to 1,000s of customers at a driving range with rubber mats, studies the differences in the golfers skills and asks them questions, begins teaching at 10 years old, intuitively discovers what works and what doesn't for his students, is not a member of the PGA.

Jim McLellan, The Maverick

Your Signature

Writing your name does not require conscious thought. You are so good at it that you can have your mind on something else and each time your sign your name it pretty much looks like all your other signatures. You can do this because you are NOT thinking about it.

Want proof? Sign your name and then right underneath your signature...try to write your name exactly like you did above directing each move of the pen to produce each letter in exact likeness to the one above. Now, compare the two and notice the considerable difference.

There is a distinct rhythm in a free easy style with both the pen and the golf club as long as that rhythm is unconscious. Once the conscious mind enters the picture the signature and the golf swing are considerably diminished.

Jim McLellan

The AntiPro/The Maverick

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The Bad Economy is Good for Your Golf

The frog sits is a pan of water on the stove tickled green that he is a frog sitting in a pan of water on the stove. As you g.r.a.d.u.a.l.l.y crank up the temperature he barely notices that his smokin froglegs may find themselves on someone's plate. But, if you let the water boil and then throw his little frog butt in the water he will hop right out.

Are we different than frogs? Yes, we walk..they hop...We can swing a golf club, they can't..but virtually everything else is the same. As the economy g.r.a.d.u.a.l.l.y gets worse we do little to adjust to what "might be" coming down the pike. Correction:"Might Be"...should be changed to "Will Be"...save this article to prove the existence of my crystal ball.

There is a tipping point. We get out of the shower and catch a glimpse of the fat guy in the mirror. Whoszat? Sooner or later there is what I commonly refer to as the "whoops factor." As of the date of this scripture....the average price of gas is$3.28 and diesel is over $4 bucks. The price of ice cream and toilet paper has doubled in the last few months. Notice a trend?

How can this dreary news benefit your golf? Now that the economy has your attention...perhaps there is a more sensible way to learn to play golf. Your disposalable income is nearing extinction . . .We are “Forced to,” DANG IT___look at other options. An approach that wasn’t considered because you had the funds to randomly waste coin on 100s of golf books, Palm Springs golf school vacation, 2 or 3 series of golf lessons and that new platinum plated thousand dollar driver, you just couldn't live without. Just when we were rocked to sleep with a sand wedge thinking everything was peachie the Cosmos comes along and boots us in another direction. The old way wasn’t working anyway.

“Having to change,” can be a blessing, when you step back and look at the breaks. Man is a peculiar animal. He will seldom change anything, including his shorts, until he has to.

The Bad Economy is good news. You can learn golf a better way in your own back yard for a fraction of the money...& show up at the course with an entirely new swing and game. Plus, the big shots who have been charging exorbitant greens fees may have to change their tune. Yes Sir, I think the Good News is that there are some positive changes in store for us. Too bad it took a whopping stick to open our eyes___or is it?.. The worse The Economy the better McLellan Golf DVDs & your backyard look. Don't wait for the "Whoops Factor" to kick in. Life is short! Keep us in mind!

Jim McLellan

The AntiPro/The Maverick

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