Wednesday, August 13, 2008

The Puke factor


The Puke Factor is a term coined by The Anti-Pro. The PF signifies a point at which a person finally gets so disgusted with themselves that they throw-up, up chuck, heave, hurl, toss their cookies, get sick.
The PF is a line in the sand, a place in time and space, an event that alerts us that enough is enough.

You can't get your car into the garage because of all the junk . . . you decide to spend the weekend cleaning it out. You can't find your favorite tie in your closet, for all of the clothes you haven't worn since WW ll, so you buy one of those closet organizers and go to work. You are in the shower and you look down and can't see your Tallywacker, because your gut is so huge, so you start exercising and cut out the chip & dip, banana cream pie, death by chocolate-4 layer cakes, and other Tallywacker Hiders. Whoa, another phrase coined by the AP, The Tallywacker Hider (four syllables followed by two, nice melodic ring don't ya think?) & although sickening, not as bad as the Puke Factor. All of the above reached their PPF . . . Personal Puke Factor, and finally did something about it.

How about the United States of American for which it stands? Stands for WHAT? The USA is 9.5 Trillion dollars in DEBT__ yet we keep throwing money at every country in the world with their hand out.

Need some help with a Trillion. A Trillion seconds ago was, get ready for this, over 36,000 YEARS ago. That, boys and girls was 34,000 YEARS B-4 Jesus was making furniture in Nazareth. Trillion = 1,000,000,000,000. The country has not existed for a trillion seconds. Western civilization has not been around a trillion seconds. One trillion seconds ago – 31,688 years – Neanderthals stalked the plains of Europe. & that's only 1 measly Trillion. Multiply that by 9.5 for YOUR NATIONAL DEBT. Show me the money. Time to Puke!

Millions of Americans haul their butts out of bed every morning and go to work to support someone on Welfare with ten kids from 10 different Daddies so she can wake up at noon in time to watch her 'soaps'. And our wonderful Candidates running for the most powerful position in this country and, in the world, couldn't run a lemonade stand. And the citizens of Iraq were starving to death as they watched Saddam and his boys build their 19th Palace as an edifice to themselves. Where is the Puke Factor in all of this?

When does the Puke Factor kick in with your Golf Game? You read golf tips, take lessons, go to golf schools, watch golf on TV and play AT it. Your Lazy Boy recliner gets more time with you reading about golf than you play golf. You have a law suit pending from a home owner off the 3rd fairway, thanks to your slice that smashed their picture window and killed the family pet. Your swing looks like you're killing snakes. You have over 3 sets of clubs at the bottom of the lake on 18. Your score cards in the triple digits. Ladies from the Westhaven Rest Home out drive you. You shanked a 9 iron and "put the eye out" of one of your playing partners. Last Saturday you spent the afternoon in the sand trap on the 14th. Time after time year after year you're pathetic but do nothing about IT. You haven't reached your Puke Factor. MOST golfers NEVER do!

90% of Golfers NEVER break 90! They haven't reached their Puke Factor or just don't care. A mere 10% of golfers can break 90? Isn't that enough to gag a maggot? This game is NOT that difficult. The swing only takes two seconds. Too fast to think. The ball sits there until you hit it, unlike tennis or football or basketball where the ball's flies all over the joint. If you can break 90 or 80 or shoot par, good for you. You're a rare breed. I'll bet you'll agree with me that golf is not that difficult, won't you. You will also agree that most golf instruction will make you worse won't you? If you can't break 90, get real mad, go throw up somewhere, and do something about it. Golf's a heck of a lot more fun on the under side of 90.

Jim McLellan
The Anti-Pro/The Maverick

Visit or Return to McGolf Home of the Perfect Golf Swing

6 comments:

Kate said...

Keep up the good work! I can't believe nobody gets it yet...but I guess "we are a rare breed." You're a valuable gem stone.
Your fan,
Beulah

The Anti-Pro said...

An absolute pleasure to receive a comment from one so beautiful, so bright, so savvy & with impeccable taste. Thank you quite a bit.

Lvvvv,

Jim

Eagle Egg said...

As someone that works for a major western municipality, my PPF changes with the political tide on a daily basis between the politics, the masses on the dole, and the Mayoral appointees on their Blackberry's with their three hour lunches. My father, the recently deceased and semi-notorious Captain Eagle,(also a dear friend of the Anti Pro) liked to say that we are truly living in an age of mediocrity. I agree with the Anti Pro across the board but have never seen this sentiment expressed so succintly and with such humor. Jim, I am honored to call you "friend".

The Anti-Pro said...

Eagle Egg!

You were your Dads jewel, his joy, his reason for living. He was so proud of you I thought he would pop! It's wonderful to have a part of him in YOU! I miss the Captain Eagle, my pal, every day. He had a most incredible mind, loaded with a magnificent philosophy of life not to mention a terrific BS filter.

Your McLellan Golf DVD is on the way. Go out there and kick some tail.

I'm honored to be YOUR Friend!

Love You!

Jim aka Willy Wonka

Unknown said...

I have come very close to reaching my Puke Factor and finally hit it about a month ago. I am still cleaning up the mess.
I discoverd Jim several years ago but never sent him my swing because I was afraid of what I would see. I guess rather than face reality, I thought it would be easier to try things on my own and make things more difficult. That is one of the signs of insanity.
Well, I finally did send Jim my video earlier this week and I tell you I haven't been doing what I thought I have been doing. I must say emphatically that it's not more information that we need!
I see breaking par on the horizon.

The Anti-Pro said...

David! Your comments are very timely. "Great minds think alike"__See, You, The Movie Star!

Good for you. You've had a reality check, know where you REALLY are, what to correct and what to do to have a golf swing that golfers at the range stop to watch!

Stay in touch!

Jim