Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Family Time

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Friday, June 20, 2008

Me & Tiger Woods, Comparing Golf Swings!

Top billing over Tiger Woods? How's it possible? Here's how. I own the keyboard and I write a M followed by an e, followed by a space. Then I tap &, and another space then on to a T to kick off the word Tiger. Later I will compare my golf swing, which will make far more sense for you, to Woody's! Ego maniac or truth sayer? We'll see.

As I write this post, Mr.Tiger Woods has just snatched the 108th National Open Championship away from the grasp of one Cindy Rella. Rocco Mediate had massive support from those who believe in miracles. I, among millions, was rooting for this, 45+ year old, underpuppy to have his named embroidered on the gleaming gold "cup" that represents the epitome of golf's most prestigious spectacle.

& since the OPEN means that it is OPEN to anyone who qualifies__ it would have been fitting to see a guys name like Rocco on "THE CUP", don't you agree? Additionally, in honor of all of us well over 30 with thinning hair, a slight pot, and a few aches to see one of "us", Golf's Rocky Balboa, holding the crown jewel goblet over his head as the crowd goes wildly nuts. Not to mention, which I'm going to mention, middle aged guys from coast to coast and across the pond skipping around the house yelling, "I'm Young, I'm Young!"

Who won or lost does nothing for your golf game. But a fleeting quote from a TV caster will. That utterance was immediately caught by my non-golfing wife who is the recipient of Alexander Bells "grams" from frustrated golfers, "singing the blues" over what has happened to their golf game, thanks to some inept so called teaching pro.

The quote that sprang from the lips of one of the common taters, through space at 186,000 miles per second and rattled my wife's hammer, anvil, and stirrup has mysteriously vanished from the ramblings of the word writers. Perhaps you too caught it?! Hopefully, the quote should be a wake up call for all those being slammed about by the golf industry intent on keeping the golfer confused in order for the N-Dust-Trees wherewithal to buy Duesenburg Touring Coupes, Saddam's old Palaces, cruise ships, and use Treasury Bonds for papier hygiƩnique..That's "butt wipe" fur Hillbillies.

FYI..The quote that should spawn tsunami waves through golfdom was overheard by an announcer from a player who said he was firing his golf coaches ass and would be taking advice ONLY from the man who got him started in our game in the first place....his Father. Got your ear to the ground, Buick driver?

Who was Snead's and Hogan's and Nelson's golf coach? Jack had some early advice, but all these guys eventually figured IT out themselves. The very powerful multi-multi dollar golf industry (which is 99.9% HS). . . has the aspiring golfer in their cross hairs & is successfully destroying any possibility for rational thinking, logic, and cause and effect through the persistent and repetitive propaganda of their multi-ton locomotive steaming down the tracks, out of control, at break neck speed, spewing said HS all over the place. Whew...Did you get through that whole sentence without breathing? If only the information had the appropriate smell, warning the golfer to avoid the substance coming out of the North end of the horse (see HS above). not step in it or allow it to be a part of your already fragile & vulnerable golf swing.

The meat and potatoes of Mr. Broad Shoulders swing was that time spent with his POP, not some rip off golf coach. Yet, the Jungle Cat doesn't think he has found the swing that will take him into his twilight years as evidenced by the company he keeps with swing coach leaches. Having money to buy the "best???" golf instruction in the world could prove to be his undoing. His current swing (which may change several the time we go to press) is a young man's swing & requires a superbly honed athlete to drive it. It's micro managed & takes an inordinate amount of work to keep it firing on all 8 cylinders. He will have to change "things" in his swing as he ages. His present swing won't work as well in another 5 years, let alone when he's 40, 50, or 60. He is already becoming one of the wildest drivers on tour since Seve Ballesteros.

Momma Kutilda's baby boy needs to study guys like Sam Snead and lean toward a swing that requires little management, no thought, and will last when the temples start turning gray. Tiny Sam Alexis' Daddy continues to mess with his swing thanks to high priced golf gurus who he must think know more about HIS golf swing than he does. "Here Mr. Woods, lets try this swing, this week" "So what if you won the '97 Masters by 12 shots, big deal...let's change your swing and see if you can win by 24 next time."

Mr. Ben Hogan's complex swing required a Jupiteresque amount of practice that would make the average golfer's hands grow blisters, calluses, crack & bleed. Mr. average golfer doesn't have that much time to practice. Best pick a low, maintenance golf swing! I prefer Sam Snead's approach. Silky Smooth Swingin Sammy Snead could maintain a Super Sweet Syrupy Swing (like oil on wet glass) in most part because, while the other technocrats were experimenting in search of some secret smoke and mirrors golf swing, Sam was fishing. Sam won more tournaments than any pro ever, and played mighty fine golf well into his 80s. A "shot out of the canon golf swing" would have been in the junk yard long ago, by then. He was a great thinker because he DIDN'T! P.S. Remember when a fish has no eye you have a fsh.

Time's running out "Wearer of the Spider Man Red Shirt on Sunday"..Find your swing quick, want one that still works in the future and hasn't been destroyed seeking oohs and awes from the gallery. Revving up to the red line, corkscrewing the spine via the lats and spinal erectors can turn a young man's swing into an old man before the checkered flag. Time passes by exponentially as more birthday cake candles set off the smoke detector. And, Mr. Showboat, before you know it you will be playing some golf with your grand kids and you need a swing that hasn't flown apart at the seams. You'll need a swing that hasn't caused permanent damage to your muscles, bones, ligaments, tendons as you fly through Metropolis. There are warning signs already if you've got your eye on the road. Think about it the next time you limp.

OK enough of that nonsense, lets talk about something special that can have real benefit for you . . . my swing! Perhaps you have seen it at Here's the scoop before I made Volume I and became the heart throb of golf students on all 7 continents. After having been head over heels in love with our game from age 8 to 24, I became disenchanted with the game I perceived as high tech and phony & opted to change careers mid- stream and play the banjo at the North Woods Inn in Colorado with a great piano player named Jay Sidell. Now then, if I had a high tech, freeze frame golf swing, IT would have rusted, deteriorated, and turned into dust over a 30 (count 'em) 30 year lay off. Good Golly Miss Molly did he say a 30 year lay off? That's what I said and did, indeed and alas it's true.

I was encouraged to make a golf instruction video by a friend whose ugly swing I turned into a thing of beauty, in about 5 minutes, in the yard. I spent about a week swingin' a dusty old club and went right out and shot par. The swing you see is the result of finding a swing as a young man that I really liked and NEVER changing it. My swing was simple, with economy of motion, pretty, yet powerful, and the envy of anyone who could tell a putter from a flag stick.

Meanwhile....Thunderous applause for Tiger! He has added some much needed color to our game that has sadly become drabsville. He has done what Arnie did in the 60s....CPR, & just in the nick of time. Goody-goody for him, but it does not a thing for your game!
Thanks to my magical keyboard cleverly installed for your entertainment.... I have the last word. As promised, by the title of this award winning article....It all comes down to this WHICH SWING WILL WORK BEST FOR YOU? &&& besides, Eldrick Tont ...Who are your students?. Who knows more about teaching the golf swing? Me, me, me or Earl's kid? Take a 30 year lay off, Captain of the 20 million dollar paid for in cash PRIVA-SEA, and we'll see. Elin's husband does have 500 million in the bank and I don't. But, I've helped more golfers than Mr. Iron Man, I play the banjo and piano and dance better than he can, & most importantly, I'm sleeping with the most beautiful girl in Tennessee.
The Anti-Pro/Maverick was hitting 300 yard drives with range balls and antique golf clubs & winning golf tournaments ++++ successfully teaching students decades before the little tadpole crawled out of the swamp (like you & me) on to the warm beach, A N D charmed anyone remotely interested in Cow Pasture Pool, Thank you. Oh Yes, and one more thing, Mr.
Woods...losing your temper and throwing clubs is something you would never see Nicklaus,
Hogan, Snead, or Nelson do! Being Number 1 gives you great responsbility. There are millions of kids watching your every move.
Jim McLellan "The Anti-Pro, The Maverick"

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Monday, June 9, 2008


Golf : In my hand I hold a ball.... white and dimpled, rather small....Oh, how bland it does appear.... this harmless looking little sphere....By its size I could not guess.... the awesome strength it does possess....But since I fell beneath its spell.... I've wandered through the fires of hell....My life has not been quite the same.... Since I chose to play this game....It rules my mind for hours on end... A fortune it has made me spend....It has made me swear and yell and cry....I hate myself and want to die....It promises a thing called par....If I can hit straight and far...To master such a tiny ball...should not be very hard at all But my desires the ball refuses.... and does exactly like it chooses....It hooks and slices, dribbles and dies.... and even disappears before my eyes...Often it will take a whim.... to hit a tree or take a swim...With miles of grass on which to land.... it finds a tiny patch of sand....Then has me offering up my soul.... if only it would find the hole....It's made me whimper like a pup....and swear that I will give it up....And take a drink to ease my sorrow....but the ball knows.....I'll be back tomorrow!!!!

Author Unknown
Hopefully this poor lost soul will find McLellan Golf!
Jim McLellan "The Anti-Pro/The Maverick"

Friday, June 6, 2008

The Golfer's Body

I want your body's attention.

You and I have discussed your brain, philosophy, the mental side of golf, and most everything above the shoulders that isn't X rated. Now, it's time to move down and become acquainted with the machine upon which the computer proudly perches & discover the unexplored world of an exciting new BOD.

Yours truly . . . they used to say that lots in the old days of writing . . . just had a wonderful, luxurious, relaxing, heavenly experience called a massage. Wow, do I feel Ga..ud. Better than a bottle of scotch (I don't drink) better than a dozen Valiums (I don't drug), better than a good nights sleep (I sleep), & better than finding out that a life threatening diagnosis from your doctor was a mistake and meant for some other poor guy.

Here's some bad news! . . .you don't have another body hanging in the closet. What you see is what you've got. Don't have to deal with it! Time for a new plan, Stan.

Some minor, easy, fun, simple suggestions can make you feel like a kid again or better. Don't have to join the gym, go on a radical starvation diet or make drastic changes in your life style. Take baby steps by just thinking about the sage advice in the paragraphs down under. Just thinking can open the vault to some changes you're gonna just love, to death.

First, look in the mirror and tell yourself you love yourself. Get up, go to the mirror. I Love You _______your name in the blank. Too silly? Come on, no guts, this stuff works. Next say I'm going to start treating you like I love you. I'm sorry I haven't been treating you like you deserve and dadgummit, I'm going to make some changes before its to dang late.

Somewhat irritated that you've waited so long? Okey Dokey it's kind of like a divorce or cleaning out the closet. The point of Power is Now, and the bestest (I meant to say that) time is this second or sooner if possible. Run over the skinny below and give it a chance to roam about in the wind mills of your mind.

Look in 'Ol Yellar' and find a massage therapist. Ask for an introductory special. Make an appointment and go, go, go do it, Dude! ("dude," from now on, refers to Dudettes as well). Do this at least every other month. It's quite a bit, yummy.

Call your local rec center and sign up for a Yoga class. Come on . . . do it. We're talking about you here and you deserve it... so do it. Yoga is great stuff.
Posture tells the world tons about young or ancient "us is" more than any other fact-tor. Stand up straight, head high, chest out, suck in your gut, smile. Do this and look 10 to 20 years younger!

Each and every day we get older & stiffer (in all the wrong places) (rats) & less flexible. Practice swinging the club w-a-y back...past level and w-a-y through to a fuller and fuller finish. No short swings...those are for old farts.

Eat whatever you want, but only half as much as you've been eating. When dining out, ask for a dogie box when your order. When your order arrives put half in the "ta go" box. Eat what's in the box tomorrow night...WOW, two dinners for the price of one! Dinning with your wife, or someone Else's? Split the meal. Ask for 2 plates. Drink plenty of water and in 15 minutes or so the grub will "hit bottom" and you will be glad you didn't "Eat the whole Thing." Oh, and sure, split dessert, You deserve it, Mr. Discipline. Bonus time....A golf swing, sans a pot, gut, will do wonders for a new golf swing!

Shoot for eating 5 small meals a day. Your goal is to never feel hungry but never feel full. I hate feeling full, like a tick on a dog, ready to pop. Graze like all the svelte animals in nature, do.

Turn off the damn idiot box. We had our cable disconnected last September. I took up 5 string clawhammer banjo and my wife started playing my grandfather's fiddle. Now, we have something to show for the hours that blow by anyway. The TV is a thief. You only have so many seconds left to live, make everyone count. Donate no more time to "The Bandit."

Go for a walk at least 5 times a week for a half hour or so. Take your wife with you...remember lovers lane? Now that you no longer waste your precious life mesmerized by hypnotic idiots holding you captive on will have plenty of time to walk, take up a musical instrument, learn a foreign language, take naps, take up dancing, and join the circus, and OH, Yes . . . practice golf!

Do some resistance training to keep your muscles toned, and shaped and strong. I love my bowflex. There are great deals on EBay. Get one. Have some hand grippers in the car. Best ones are from Get the 100's and 150's. Use them in the car 3x per week. Develop a bone crushing grip while marooned in traffic. Take out your frustration on some stupid motorist before your kill 'em.

Tell your wife that you love her, everyday. Tell your kids you love them, everyday. Parents still living...tell them you love them every chance you get. All too soon they will be gone and so will the opportunities to let them know how very important they are to you.

Get a Persian cat. Move to the country. Build your own home (not house).

This is not a movie. This is not a dress rehearsal. This is life, the real deal, make sure when they close the lid YOU have used __YOU.. up__. YOU have made every second count, YOU have made a difference in someones life. You will not have to bribe St. Peter to get through the gates. If I go first, I'll wait for 'ya. Do the same for me!

Jim McLellan
The AntiPro/The Maverick

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Tuesday, June 3, 2008

The Senses

If everything is working correctly, There are 5 Human Senses. Before you count to make sure you have all of yours, let me lend a hand, or an ear, or an eye ball, or a tongue, or a sniffer.

These senses help us meander about during the dash. Oh, you haven't heard about the dash? It's what's on tombstones between our debut and the final curtain.

Wonderful news!!!.... these organs do NOT require conscious thought to work properly, nor do we need to know how they work for them to work.

Gotta minute? Ever ponder the magnificence of the eye, ear, nose, tongue, or bazillion sensors for touch? This machine, we can refer to as US OR YOU, goes about it's business with it's "super sensors" working perfectly, with absolutely no thought required on our part. We don't have to think, thank God, about all that takes place at any given mini, minuscule, itty bitty, very small fraction of a split split second.

Enter the golf pro. Who left the gate open? Who didn't tell the guard at the asylum how important it was to keep these dangerous creatures in their straight jackets strapped to the gurney, heavily medicated, in the rubber room with the door securely locked with a dozen dead bolts?.....Before they hurt somebody!

Beware, big time, for he/she has license (sometimes referred to as a PGA card in their wallet or purse) to destroy a perfectly good God given swing in exchange for a victims money, honey. You see, the only way the golf pro (theif) can successfully chase down & slaughter their prey (the slow runner in the herd) is to first convince the student that unless they THINK about how the body parts work & function, they won't.
Is ridiculous a strong enough word? Our Creator designed us with such genius that knowing any of this is not only totally unnecessary but it would definitely get in the way if it worked any other way.

Time to discuss how all of "This" realates to your golf swing. Before I completely run out of verboseness, let me ask you a question. Doesn't it make perfect sense to you by now that.....To have a great golf swing, 'ya don't have'ta know what organs, muscles, tendons, ligaments are involved or how they work? As if by magic, they just do.

So enlightened audience members . . . to Swing, simply___ Swing! The only sense that really counts to own a beautiful golf swing is___Common sense!

Jim McLellan

The AntiPro/Maverick

Visit or Return to McGolf Home of the Perfect Golf Swing